How to Get Power of Attorney for an Elderly Parent

Questions families ask next

Does my parent have to agree?

Yes. A power of attorney (POA) is a legal document that your parent signs to give someone else authority, and you cannot sign it for them. The person who signs is called the principal, and the person they name is called the agent.

A POA also does not let you overrule your parent. Your parent keeps the right to make their own choices for as long as they are able.

What if my parent already has memory problems?

A dementia diagnosis alone does not always stop someone from signing legal papers. What matters is whether your parent can understand what the document means and does. The level of understanding needed can differ from one document to another, so a lawyer can help judge this.

If memory changes have started, try not to wait. Our guide to the stages of dementia and what to expect at home explains how needs change over time.

Do we need a lawyer?

Not always. Most states offer free health care advance directive forms, and many families fill them out at home without a lawyer. A financial POA covers money and property, so many families ask an elder law attorney to draft or review it.

Is it too early to bring this up?

Usually not. The sooner a plan is in place, the better prepared your family will be, and a calm year is a much easier time to talk than a hospital stay.

What power of attorney means

A POA lets your parent choose a trusted person to act for them. That person can handle money, property or health decisions, based on what the document allows.

Your parent picks the agent and decides how much power the agent gets. A POA can be broad or very narrow.

The main types of power of attorney

Many families set up two documents, one for money and one for health care.

1. Durable financial power of attorney. “Durable” means the agent keeps authority even if your parent becomes unable to manage things. This is the type that can keep covering bills, banking and property over the long term.
2. Health care power of attorney. This is also called a durable power of attorney for health care. It names a health care proxy who can make medical choices only when your parent cannot make or share them.
3. General or limited power of attorney. A general POA covers most legal and money matters. A limited POA covers only certain tasks, like selling a house. Depending on its wording and your state’s law, a POA that is not durable can end when your parent becomes incapacitated. If your parent wants it to keep working, make sure the document says it is durable.
4. Springing power of attorney. This type only starts once your parent is incapacitated. Not every state recognizes it, so ask a lawyer whether yours does.

A health care POA is not the same as a living will. Read the difference between an advance directive and a living will to see how they fit together.

How to get power of attorney for an elderly parent, step by step

1. Talk with your parent first. Ask what they want and who they trust. The choice belongs to them.
2. Choose the documents. Many families start with a durable financial POA and a health care POA.
3. Pick the agent. Choose someone who knows your parent’s values and will honor their wishes. In most states, a health care proxy must be at least 18.
4. Get the right form for your state. Free health care advance directive forms are available for each state. For a financial POA, an elder law attorney can draft one that fits your parent’s needs.
5. Sign the way your state requires. Some forms need a witness or a notary. Your state’s form or your lawyer will tell you which.
6. Store it safely and share copies. Keep the original in a fireproof, waterproof place. Keep copies at home, and give copies to the agent, your parent’s doctors and the bank or other offices that will need them.

How to bring it up with your parent

Many parents feel uneasy when a child asks about money or health choices. It can sound like you think they cannot cope. Start by making it about their wishes, not your worries.

One way to start is to say that you want their choices followed if they ever get sick, and then ask who they would want to speak for them. Another way in is to mention that you recently made your own plans.

Keep the first talk short. Let your parent set the pace, and come back to it later if needed. Our tips on how to talk to your parents about finances can help you plan the words.

What if your parent can no longer sign?

If your parent is no longer able to understand a legal document, they may not be able to sign a POA. In that case, the only option may be a court process called guardianship or conservatorship.

In guardianship, a court appoints someone to make decisions about your parent’s care, money or both. It can be costly and slow, and family members may disagree in court. It also limits your parent’s right to make their own choices. Each state has its own guardianship laws.

Guardianship is meant to be a last resort. If you are in this spot, talk with an elder law attorney soon. They can explain your state’s process and whether less restrictive options, such as supported decision-making, could still work.

Your duties once you are the agent

Being an agent is a job of trust. A guide for agents from the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau lists four basic duties.

1. Act only for your parent’s benefit.
2. Manage your parent’s money and property with care.
3. Keep your parent’s money separate from your own.
4. Keep good records of what you spend and why.

Pay your parent’s bills from their own funds, not yours, and sign as their agent rather than signing your parent’s name. Your state may add more duties, so ask a lawyer what applies. To learn more about guarding savings, read how to protect an elderly parent’s assets.

A POA ends when your parent dies. After that, the will and state law decide what happens to the estate.

Where to find help

1. An elder law attorney. These lawyers focus on issues older adults and families face. The National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys (NAELA) has an online directory to help you find one.
2. Free legal help programs. Legal help programs funded by the Older Americans Act are available in every state through Area Agencies on Aging.
3. The Eldercare Locator. Call or text 1-800-677-1116 to reach trained staff, who can link you to the Area Agency on Aging that serves your parent’s area.

If you are unsure what your family owes, see who is legally responsible for elderly parents. For more planning topics, visit our Planning Ahead resources.

This guide is general information, not medical, legal or financial advice.

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